Thursday, October 31, 2013

Ban Negative Nancy & Company


Do you have one? I feel like I have a whole Council in there, rubber-stamping negative thoughts like paperwork and then letting them fester in the dark corners of my mind, seeping out when I am most vulnerable to make me second-guess myself.

I think I may print this one out for the old Mirror :)

It's time to tell the Council that they have lost the election and boot them out of there. Negativity causes so many problems -- in your relationships, in your work, in your health -- kick the negative committee out and you'll remove one giant obstacle you may not have realized you had.

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Shiny Happy People


Have you ever noticed how perfect people seem on social sites like Facebook, Twitter, or even our own chapters here at TMN? Sometimes, I will admit, it seems like some lives are just too wonderful, too filled with great activities, happy smiling faces, pretty dresses and lovely backdrops of beautiful lakes or aesthetic old barns.

Sometimes I look at these things and I feel a tiny bit jealous. It seems easy for everyone else. They are doing all these great fun things and everyone is happy and no one is frustrated or overwhelmed or anxious about anything.

I think "What's wrong with me?" that I can't have this perfection in my daily life, the clean house, the spontaneous art projects on the living room rug, the pretty clothes and beach trips and happy smiles everywhere you go. Why does my life seem filled most days with work and struggling to get everything done and picking which part of my life will be disappointed while I scurry to pick up the slack in the other areas -- will the house be a mess? will the kids spend the afternoon in front of the tv because I have to work? will I be able to get work done with such a messy house and kids to entertain? Its enough to drive a person crazy!

But the truth is, what I see on Facebook is no different than what I put on Facebook -- its the happy little moments in my life that I am willing to share with others. Facebook would be pretty depressing if everyone got real -- so maybe its okay that people are sticking mostly to the happy parts.

I have to remind myself that what others put out there isn't the everything -- they are just showing the "highlight reel" of their life, editing out the bloopers and ugly parts and showing off the finished shiny product.  I have to remember that my "behind-the-scenes" footage is probably not much different from anyone else's... and not let myself be tricked into thinking otherwise.

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Grumpiness


Have you ever noticed that when you are in a bad mood, it seems that everyone is especially annoying and even the most endearing little things your kids do, or your friends do, or your significant other does, make you want to pull your hair out?

It's so so tempting to say "Well, I'm in a bad mood, so deal with it" and let your bad mood infiltrate the others in your life.

I, like every one of you, have been the victim of someone's bad mood more than once. Its no fun, especially when you are in a "very good mood" and someone else ruins it with their "very bad mood." Can you imagine if everyone decided to do that? Everyone who was struggling with something, or frustrated with the obstacle they are facing just decided to take it out on everyone else? Madness.

Everyone, every day, is facing some obstacle, fighting some battle -- a "something that is important enough to them to be willing to struggle for." You are not the only one struggling and their struggle is just as important to them as yours is to you.

So be nice to each other. Really. Its not that hard. Resist the urge to share your bad mood and instead cheer yourself up by being kind to others. You may find it makes your struggles a little easier as well.

Monday, October 28, 2013

Obstacles


 

I'm reading David Foster Wallace's Infinite Jest right now. Not a book for everyone, I don't think. It has so much depth and sadness and true soul-bearing reality, I actually have to take breaks from reading it or I get too moody and thoughtful. VERY good book. Just warning you, it will make you think.

I will most likely share a lot of quotes from this book at one point or another. The quote above is NOT from this book, but the one below is... and I think the both share a similar thought:

You are what you love. No?
You are, completely and only, what you would die for
without, as you say, the thinking twice.

-- David Foster Wallace, Infinite Jest

The obstacles in our lives are unique to us -- they block our ability to gain whatever it is that we most want or need, be it a person, a thing or an ideal. Whatever it is that we want or need - that thing is important to us, so important that we are willing to be uncomfortable, to struggle to overcome that obstacle.
We learn what is most important to us through learning what we are willing to struggle for -- what we are willing to go out of our way to make happen, to work hard for, to make an effort for. A thing is not an obstacle for us unless it is blocking something we want or need to have.

This leads me to two thoughts:

1. That without obstacles, we cannot really understand what we value most. Therefore obstacles, though frustrating, are a necessary evil.

2. That since the things that are most important to me are not always the things most important to other people, it makes sense that the things that are obstacles to me, the things I struggle with, might not seem like such a big deal to other people... and vice versa.

What are the obstacles in your life, in your work, in your parenting that you are struggling to overcome? What does this say about what is most important to you?


Friday, October 25, 2013

Excitement


Excitement. It's hard not to get excited when someone else is excited, isn't it? You see how jived up they are about whatever it is they are jived up about and it makes you just a bit jived up about it too.

So when I read this quote, from Joyce's Portrait, despite the fact that it was being used to point out how the things being taught to Stephen and his classmates were mere rote with no sense of understanding from those they were meant to educate, I actually saw how this COULD be used to educate... such a simple statement that says so so much.

Excitement is definitely important. As someone in nonprofits, I love passionate people because they are so excited about what they are doing that they are willing to volunteer to do it! I NEED excited people!

But being excited without being SMART.... its like being lost in the ocean. What is the point of being excited if you go off half-crazy and don't think through what it is you are hoping to accomplish? Its easy to get excited about a project, but its important to throw in a bit of caution to keep your course clear ahead! Red balloons are great, but not if you allow them to lift you up into the air and never get back down again!

Be excited. Be passionate. But be SMART too.

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Adversity


Adversity.

I don't think I knew what adversity meant until about five years ago. Since then, I have definitely had my share of adversity. In fact, I'm pretty darn tired of adversity and tend to complain that life should not be THIS hard ALL. THE. TIME.

This summer as my fortieth birthday approached, I challenged myself to start reading again -- really reading, not just stuffing my head with literary fluff. I started with Joyce's Dubliners and then moved on to his Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man. I've also, I might add, become one of those dorky people who highlight things in their books and write quotes on their bathroom mirrors.

This quote was magic to me -  I was mesmerized by it. I wrote it on my bathroom mirror. I highlighted it in my book. I even made this crazy little graphic above and put it on my Facebook page. Yes, I AM that dorky.

But maybe when I explain why, you'll understand. You see, this adversity thing has had me really down the past few years, like I said... and honestly, there are plenty of days when I feel like I don't even want to get up and fight the good fight, just because, well... I'm freaking exhausted.

Something about stars though -- pretty stars, majestic stars, a sky filled with stars, dancing among the stars -- this strikes me as beautiful. About as beautiful as adversity is ugly. And somehow knowing that I get to dance among the stars once I get through this adversity business... well, it makes it all seem just a bit easier.

I introduce you to my new mantra: "Per aspera ad astra" -- through adversity to the stars! May it give you as much inspiration as it has given me!

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Red Balloons


My dear friend and co-worker Noel likes to joke that my job is to blow up red balloons full of new ideas and her job is to pop some of them to keep us grounded in reality. She is always very supportive of my "great ideas" but she also keeps me from losing focus by chasing after too many at once.

In business, its certainly important to be grounded in reality -- but that doesn't mean you can't dream and think of "impossible things." Each new product, each new service, each new company comes from one person's dream -- one person's ability to believe in something impossible long enough to make it possible.

Practice thinking the impossible. Blow up your own red balloons and see if any of them soar. Many possibilities were once impossible to imagine... who knows what great new idea you can discover when you step outside the box!

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Accomplishment


Accomplishment.

I have this on my mind today as I am in the process of completing something I've dreamed of (in one form or fashion) for a very long time. I remember a time when this accomplishment was nothing more than a thought in my head, a great idea worth considering, when time permitted. It made it on the list, but who knew when it would find its way to the top.

Many of my projects are like this -- things I really *want* to do, but things that, for whatever reason, always seem to be displaced by things I *need* to do instead. Sometimes the things I *want* to do actually become things I *need* to do, for whatever reason, and that's when times like this happen, and I get to watch something come together that I imagined long ago.

It's so easy for me to get overwhelmed by the giant to-do list I have each day... to be frustrated by the unending list of *needs* that constantly push aside my *wants* and demand my attention. Days like today remind me that the mere act of putting it on the list is a decision to TRY, to dream up a world in which this thing EXISTS and WORKS and makes lives easier. And despite the fact that it may be days, weeks, months or even years before that dream becomes a reality, knowing its there, knowing I've made the decision to try it, means that someday it might come true.

Today I look at my to-do list as a list of future accomplishments. It seems much less overwhelming that way.