Shiny Happy People

Have you ever noticed how perfect people seem on social sites like Facebook, Twitter, or even our own chapters here at TMN? Sometimes, I will admit, it seems like some lives are just too wonderful, too filled with great activities, happy smiling faces, pretty dresses and lovely backdrops of beautiful lakes or aesthetic old barns.

Sometimes I look at these things and I feel a tiny bit jealous. It seems easy for everyone else. They are doing all these great fun things and everyone is happy and no one is frustrated or overwhelmed or anxious about anything.

I think "What's wrong with me?" that I can't have this perfection in my daily life, the clean house, the spontaneous art projects on the living room rug, the pretty clothes and beach trips and happy smiles everywhere you go. Why does my life seem filled most days with work and struggling to get everything done and picking which part of my life will be disappointed while I scurry to pick up the slack in the other areas -- will the house be a mess? will the kids spend the afternoon in front of the tv because I have to work? will I be able to get work done with such a messy house and kids to entertain? Its enough to drive a person crazy!

But the truth is, what I see on Facebook is no different than what I put on Facebook -- its the happy little moments in my life that I am willing to share with others. Facebook would be pretty depressing if everyone got real -- so maybe its okay that people are sticking mostly to the happy parts.

I have to remind myself that what others put out there isn't the everything -- they are just showing the "highlight reel" of their life, editing out the bloopers and ugly parts and showing off the finished shiny product.  I have to remember that my "behind-the-scenes" footage is probably not much different from anyone else's... and not let myself be tricked into thinking otherwise.

Grumpiness

Have you ever noticed that when you are in a bad mood, it seems that everyone is especially annoying and even the most endearing little things your kids do, or your friends do, or your significant other does, make you want to pull your hair out?

It's so so tempting to say "Well, I'm in a bad mood, so deal with it" and let your bad mood infiltrate the others in your life.

I, like every one of you, have been the victim of someone's bad mood more than once. Its no fun, especially when you are in a "very good mood" and someone else ruins it with their "very bad mood." Can you imagine if everyone decided to do that? Everyone who was struggling with something, or frustrated with the obstacle they are facing just decided to take it out on everyone else? Madness.

Everyone, every day, is facing some obstacle, fighting some battle -- a "something that is important enough to them to be willing to struggle for." You are not the only one struggling and their struggle is just as important to them as yours is to you.

So be nice to each other. Really. Its not that hard. Resist the urge to share your bad mood and instead cheer yourself up by being kind to others. You may find it makes your struggles a little easier as well.

Adversity

Adversity.

I don't think I knew what adversity meant until about five years ago. Since then, I have definitely had my share of adversity. In fact, I'm pretty darn tired of adversity and tend to complain that life should not be THIS hard ALL. THE. TIME.

This summer as my fortieth birthday approached, I challenged myself to start reading again -- really reading, not just stuffing my head with literary fluff. I started with Joyce's Dubliners and then moved on to his Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man. I've also, I might add, become one of those dorky people who highlight things in their books and write quotes on their bathroom mirrors.

This quote was magic to me -  I was mesmerized by it. I wrote it on my bathroom mirror. I highlighted it in my book. I even made this crazy little graphic above and put it on my Facebook page. Yes, I AM that dorky.

But maybe when I explain why, you'll understand. You see, this adversity thing has had me really down the past few years, like I said... and honestly, there are plenty of days when I feel like I don't even want to get up and fight the good fight, just because, well... I'm freaking exhausted.

Something about stars though -- pretty stars, majestic stars, a sky filled with stars, dancing among the stars -- this strikes me as beautiful. About as beautiful as adversity is ugly. And somehow knowing that I get to dance among the stars once I get through this adversity business... well, it makes it all seem just a bit easier.

I introduce you to my new mantra: "Per aspera ad astra" -- through adversity to the stars! May it give you as much inspiration as it has given me!